Blame Your Parents

Do you ever think of all of the ideas that you had to unlearn in order to become a somewhat regular member of society? Before you say no, don’t lie, really think about it.

I bet most of those ideas came from your parents.

When you’re a child your parents can tell you anything and you will believe it. I learned so many lies from them, intentionally and unintentionally. It’s their fault I was so naive.

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I thought it would be fun to share some unintentional ideas, courtesy of my parents, that I had to unlearn in order to become somewhat normal.

1. Women are not supposed to drive

This belief comes from my father never having my mother drive.

I really believed that if a man was around, then a woman is not supposed to drive. I thought it was a law or something until I later found out it was because my mother couldn’t drive.

I will admit that this belief is still with me because I expect men to drive on first dates all of the time.

This is the last bit of chivalry I have any hope for.

2. All parents and children have the same last names

When I tell you this took me forever to piece together, lawd.
I could not understand the concept of step-parents, half-siblings, and single parents until I was about 15 years old.

I’m an only child so when I was younger and noticed that another child in class had a different last name than their brother/sister this completely threw me off.

How does this work?

That was a lot for my little mind to figure out.

I now understand blended families and single parents but still to this day get a tad confused by them.

3. In a relationship a woman has to be younger than the man 

Another thing to blame on my parents.  My father is older than my mother so I looked at them and assumed that this is how it should be.

I just stopped believing in this concept when I realized that I never applied it to homosexual relationships.
(If they are both the same sex how can you say who should be the oldest or youngest).

4. All married couples work together

Don’t ask why; I just really believed that all married couples worked at the same place until I was around ten.

5. Everyone had their own room growing up

I didn’t fully understand the concept of sharing until about 17 years old so I didn’t get it when children would say I was lucky to have my own room. Who the fuck was I going to share it with?
Only child oblivion at its finest.


And to think these are the things I learned from just observing. Please believe that my parents told me many more lies that I am actually afraid to share because they are designed to scare the crap out of you. Can you believe they told me that if I didn’t put the lid on the toilet seat that snakes would come in at night and lay eggs?

4 thoughts on “Blame Your Parents

  1. Great post! I think parents tell their kids all sorts of bullshit for the sake of simplicity. Snakes in the toilet? That explanation prob got your attention quicker and raised far fewer follow-up questions than saying “Shut the lid, so nobody sees your nasty floaters that wouldn’t flush properly.” My parents set the standard for what I considered normality throughout much of my early years. Only as I got into my teen years did I realize how odd the family was compared to others. I mean, other families took vacations together. Not just visiting an out-of-state relative but an actual vacation planned solely for the enjoyment of the kids. Mind-blowing! Other kids received toys that they actually wanted for Christmas and not just practical items like socks and underwear. I had to unlearn the bullshit insinuation that all the other neighborhood kids were somehow spoiled and their parents devoid of responsibility. And to think it was a far simpler time when I was a kid! I can’t even imagine the crap that gets told to kids these days in such a complex world, lol. Thanks for the chuckle.


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