The craze of women marrying themselves because of not finding the perfect mate is sickening.
The first time I came across the idea of marrying yourself was in an article published on Balleralert.com. The article highlighted a Houston woman, Yasmin Eleby, who did not find love by the time she was 40 years old, so she chose to throw her own wedding…to herself.
When I read this it put the idea into my head that many women don’t really desire marriage, but more desire the fanfare that comes with getting married.
This story made me think that Eleby does not care about the institution of marriage but would rather think of it as a nice party where you get to wear a pretty dress and eat cake.
In the article Eleby emphasized self love as her reason for the ceremony, but I don’t understand how having a wedding ceremony to yourself equals self love.
You can love yourself very easily without having a party based on the merit of being single.
You can love yourself by not letting people treat you badly. You can love yourself by treating yourself well. You can love yourself by not throwing a pity party under the guise of a celebration of self love.
The Huffington Post further elaborated on Eleby’s ceremony by stating that,
“The happiness that Eleby says she felt during her wedding — and the fact that it’s so newsworthy — highlights just how frustratingly few built-in events exist for unattached women (and men). There are baby showers and bridal showers and bachelorette parties and weddings, but what about single, childfree people who still have life milestones that are worth celebrating?”
To that I say, make your own damn celebrations! (And don’t center the celebration around not having a man for god sakes.)
I’m sure that in Eleby’s 40 years there were many occasions to celebrate that were not centered around marriage and children.
A marriage to yourself is just a coping mechanism for feeling bad about being single.
Way too much stake was and is put on the fanfare of weddings and not on the reality of work that comes with marriage.
Just a reminder, the wedding is just a fairytale that will come to an end.