I am a self admitted lurker. I like to use lurking as a soft word for stalking to make me seem less…creepy.
Lurking is not following you around, looking through windows and tracking your daily moves (not all of the time); it’s more of going through numerous social media outlets and gathering information to keep in your back pocket.
I see nothing wrong with lurking on someone you either admire, a potential person you have plans on getting to know or someone with whom you are already romantically involved.
Of course all of these purposes require different styles and tactics so I think I’ll share my certain styles below.
1. Lurking based on admiration
Depending on the person you are seeking information about, you may either want to know more about them because you idolize them, or you may just be curious of how they got to where they are.
Most of the time I do this with people I see in my community that I admire professionally, so I like to use LinkedIn or Google (which sometimes results in me learning way too much).
Of course with LinkedIn an account is required and the person pretty much knows when you have been looking at them because a notification will pop up when their profile is viewed.
If you’re not shy this could work in your favor because this will make them look at you as well, and it could turn out for the better because they are noticing you…Or they may just think that you’re creepy.
2. Lurking on potentials
Lurking on potentials is the most fun and also most required style of lurking.
It is fun because you are seeking ANY information at all. From business to personal, anything you find is necessary information because you are most likely already very intrigued by them. This is the closest to a pre-screen for dishonesty, and other unsavory personality traits that you’re going to get before extended interaction.
I like to use the standard social media sites that everyone has (i.e, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram), but I also like to use a lesser known tool called Spokeo.
Spokeo only comes in handy when you decide on a first date. This tool enables you to find their address, how many people live in their home, if they are married and sometimes will show a place of employment. All this info is necessary to share with at least one close person in your life in case you go on a date with the potential and never return.
As nice as a person may seem, I never put it past them to harm me. You shouldn’t either.
3. Lurking on someone you are already romantically involved with
This is the type of lurking that is frowned upon, but we have all done it before.
This type of lurking is usually done if you suspect something fishy is going on but can’t quite put your finger on it, so you end up paying way too much attention to every post on every page.
If you’re really suspicious and are dealing with a smart person, they’ve already figured out how to hide certain status’ on Facebook exclusively from you and probably never post any significant pics.
Posting pictures of outings and activities leaves the photo too open for comment from the potential side piece, and of course comments are the first place to start when lurking on your significant other.
It’s not always easy to find dirt using all of the techniques listed above with your identity alone, so you may have to enlist the help of friends or create a fake profile.
In my opinion if you have to go as far as creating a fake page, you already know they are cheating or doing something sneaky. The fake profile is way too much effort and good old fashioned communication can work a lot better. Any further lurking only can make you feel crazy. Don’t go crazy…
Lurking is fun, crazy takes the fun out of it and turns you creepy. Be a lurker not a creep.