Adventures in Dating: The Paper Brother


After figuring out the issues with my type of men it’s hard to take anyone seriously right now.

I have dealt with such a plethora of men that I feel like I know what to expect every time. It’s at the point that from one conversation I know what type of man this is, and I decide if I want to stay around for fun, or to designate them as an acquaintance who I never want to see in person again.

I’ve narrowed it down to certain types that I feel warrant a breakdown. In this installment I will only cover one.

The Paper Brother

I am not talking about anything to do with Greek organizations (speaking of that, if you’re out of college get over it). I am talking about the guy who looks great on paper.

This is the man who appears to have it all figured out. They have a good career, a nice enough home, nice car, no children, basically everything you can write down that you may want in a man.

They have these things but this is pretty much all to them.

They have no quirks, probably have a laugh that literally sounds like “Ha, Ha, Ha” and are completely boring. All they have to talk about is work and are devoid of politically incorrect personality traits which create…fun.

In other words, their identity has been replaced by a resume.


I want to scream for this man to loosen up, but I feel like this is their personality and I just have to never associate with them again.

For example, a question such as: “You like hip hop music?” will always turn into, “I do enjoy some hip hop but I mainly enjoy old school music because they talked more about real issues and not just about women and cars. Everything is so materialistic nowadays and I’m a minimalist and don’t need all of that.”

Says the fool who only speaks about working and money.


The “paper brother” is always politically correct and says the right thing. He always want to seem conscious and mysterious; almost to the point that he is laughable.

When they say something slightly witty they think they’re making you say,

“Oh that was deep”

But really you’re thinking,

“This guy is so pretentious, I cannot wait to go home.”

Smarts are always a plus, but be fun. Have a personality that surpasses a resume, stop being so calculated and loosen up.

Save your resume and elevator speech for the workplace. Not for the dating world.

4 thoughts on “Adventures in Dating: The Paper Brother

  1. Pingback: Adventures in Dating: The Pretty Boy | Sadity Hoodlum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s