With every failure comes a lesson. With this failure I learned a lesson about apologies.
In the beginning of the year I posted a list of 12 resolutions with the goal of accomplishing one for each month. So far I have done surprisingly well (I know its only been 3 months, don’t be a smart ass this is good for me). Every year in the past, I usually have one big New Years resolution that I faithfully figure out a way to forget about around March-ish.
To better help with my terrible memory I have grown to understand the importance of writing things down (I know this seems simple but I’m lazy ) and I have been able to accomplish the January and February goals with ease.
The goal for March has proven to be a bit more difficult. The goal is simple,”Say sorry to someone you hurt.”
This goal was meant to be a cleanse to rid thy self of all ill will towards people and blah, blah,blah, blah, blah. But this goal is really difficult for me, not because I’m a dick, but because I’m genuinely nice to people.
Nice people are often willing to apologize for anything before a person can even react or even notice a mistake. These people tend to apologize almost to a fault, and most of the time end up being walked over as the apology will always fall on deaf ears.
I am one of those people.
I will issue an apology and then stop and think “Wait, did that even deserve an apology? They weren’t even crying.”
This is the reason that this months resolution was difficult and why it did not get accomplished.
I have already apologized to everyone I know who warranted an apology and I really don’t want to apologize to anyone anymore.
If you have done well at doing right by people, being quiet when you have nothing nice to say, speaking up only when you can offer a solution, and not being overly-critical, there is no reason to apologize for anything. You are doing the right things. I’m upset that it took me this long and a failed attempt at a goal to finally learn this lesson.
When you apologize and someone pays you dust, it’s best to leave them alone. No more wasted apologies!
Before you issue an apology decide if the person or issue is worth it or not. If not, let the person brew and politely offer them a seat.
“Sorry” is not always the answer.
Photo credit: Getty Images/jenriks.de