So I Have To Be Pretty Forever? The Double Standard

Women are faced with the most ridiculous double standards. Some I can deal with, some I cannot.

Having sex with a plethora of people equals “Ho”….Acceptable for safety reasons

Frowned upon for abandoning your child…Acceptable because it’s harder to abandon a thing that lived inside of you. I guess.

But one double standard I cannot accept is that women have to look pretty for damn near forever, but have to be okay with their men being out of shape ug-mugs.

Women are always looked at with fault for letting themselves go when meanwhile fat husband and pretty wife (at least a high 6) is seen as the norm in most sitcoms and in general life.

I know that the woman is supposed to be the pretty one in the relationship, but do women really have to accept men looking like Carl Winslow while the men expect women to look like booty models?

photo credit:badtvblog.com

This is an unspoken rule, but it happens and I’m tired of it.

The first thing out of a man’s mouth when a woman does not get into shape quick enough after childbirth is that she let herself go. But when a man packs on numerous pounds for no reason at all or is even a little ugly in the face no one ever questions him. It is perfectly fine for him to be a butterball, no definition having slug of a man and expect you to be bad forever.

Why is nobody is ever disappointed in men for not looking like Tyson Beckford?

Men get yourself in shape for your women.

Go to the gym.

Go run outside.

Go ride a bike.

Do something to give you a place to criticize her if she’s not looking her best.

Don’t expect this:

Photo credit: lowbird.com

When you look like this:

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

You can’t be regular money Jay-Z and expect a Beyonce. Even rich Jay-Z shouldn’t expect Beyonce, he better count his blessings.

 

Friday Fuckery: A Quickie At Work

If you are at work I want you to slowly reach into your pocket. Take your time.

Slowly feel around in your pocket until you feel yourself in your hands. After you have found yourself slowly start to caress, but be inconspicuous, because remember you’re at work and god forbid you get caught.

When it feels right, take out your phone and… Continue reading

Throwback Thursday: In College I Enjoyed Nasty Songs

There should be no surprise that my semi ratchet ass cannot get enough of raunchy misogynistic music.

 I never missed an opportunity to dance in a basement and hear underrated classics like Lil’ Ru’s raunchy and appropriately titled, “Nasty Song.” Now that is clever naming!

Get into this video and I dare you not to be inspired to “put your pussy” on someone, or give/receive a wallie.

Continue reading

Why Your Auntie Is So Pissed

What is it that happens with women when they hit a certain age that immediately makes them dislike younger women?

I recall on one of my terrible ass retail jobs always having a token woman who couldn’t stand me. It always was an older woman who felt like it was her place to make an example out of me for breathing or whatever she was mad at me for.

This display of pure disdain from older women did not stop at jobs, it carried over into day to day life as well. I still get looks of disgust from older women and I’m not even a spring chicken anymore. I walk down the street and still get looked up and down with this perturbed face from Auntie or even get the little nice-nasty shade of some old biddy calling me  sweety and hun’, but in that weird tone where its not affectionate at all. Bitch, I can hear the hate in your voice.displeased-bailey

My question is why are Aunties, as I affectionately call them, so mad? Continue reading

Why Everyone Should Work In Retail

Someone once said “never trust a person who has never worked in retail.” After 10 years of working in retail I now KNOW that this is true. In order to be a productive member of society everyone should have to work in retail at some point in their life. It should honestly be a right of passage, because you learn so much about the dealings of this fucked up world and it’s fucked up people. Continue reading

Brotherf*cker

i-love-my-best-friend_designLets address something. I’ve been hearing many people throw around the terms sister, brother, and twin, as greetings for a while now and I am down right perplexed. I am confused because when I hear these terms used I am always expecting to see a relative pop up from out of the shadows or someone who at least looks similar, but I am wrong EVERY TIME. Nowadays is seems that when people actually use these words they are referring to some  random ass “friend”, who is not related to them.

I am so confused. Continue reading

Quickie: “Game of Thrones”+ Broken Bones

I broke my big toe and this shit is the second most terrible physical pain I have ever experienced in life (cramps will always win until childbirth). For the last week I have barely been able to think straight, and when I do think, I only think bitchy thoughts such as:

“I wish you would shut the fuck up”

or

“What the fuck are you smiling for?”

Continue reading

Hey Black Culture 

It seems as if no bit of black culture is ever recognized until it goes mainstream.

We use the term mainstream, but let’s call a spade a spade; mainstream is really a politically correct word for “white culture approved.” I personally have no problem with black culture becoming popular and being adopted by other races. I take great pride in my culture and when others embrace it I find it cute in a Paul Mooney sort of way.

My only issue with black culture becoming popular is when it becomes overused and corny due to it becoming mainstream.

Think of it this way:

It’s the same idea that once your parents know about the new hottest thing, and start to embrace it, it’s no longer cool. The same goes for black culture when it becomes mainstream

For example, remember the term “Bling Bling” popularized by B.G? Of course you don’t remember the origin of the term, but I bet you do remember getting sick of hearing it. 

This is what I fear will potentially happen for two people in specific that I have always loved:

Pharrell Williams and Taraji P. Henson

With mainstream pop culture finally “discovering” you guy’s talent (like y’all haven’t been hot since “Baby Boy” and the Neptunes), I am afraid that mainstream culture may see you guys as a novelty and use you up until you’re corny, like Bling Bling.

Taraji and Pharrell have been around and notarized by black culture for years but both have only started earning accolades in 2014. Though I am happy that they have been noticed for their talent, I still can admit that I am a bit selfish with my black culture and am mad that it took the attention of white culture for them to receive recognition.

On one hand Taraji and Pharrell deserve to be noticed by EVERYONE for their talents, but on the other hand I don’t want them to be a fad and something that will go out of style once white culture is not checking for “Empire” and they stop playing “Happy” in department stores.

Will black culture ever win by becoming mainstream, or does it just work for Beyoncé and Jay-Z?

Photo credit: Fox/Getty Images