That Moment When You Can’t Fake The Funk

I have been laying in bed for three days straight. I work from home a lot but when I go into the office I sit in my little cubicle fighting back tears. 

I am a self admitted control freak and when I feel like I am losing control this is what happens.

The depressed mood, the withdrawl, and the random thoughts of what if? This is me out of control. 

I understand that things are not meant to be controlled all of the time, and I am familiar with the whole “shit happens” mantra that people love to throw at you when things go wrong (which I’m extremely tired of hearing), but when I cannot control my own body or finances, I am finding this to be a trigger that makes me irrational. 

People treat me like I’m not allowed to feel. I’m sad and it just is. 

I literally cannot move. I can’t get up and go anywhere without feeling embarrassed that people are staring at me and on top of that I am about to lose an insane amount of money. 

I am drained. 

I want to cry but I have no one to cry to. 

I am alone. 

I realize that no one knows me very well and to care how I’m feeling because of the temporary tattoo of a smile and alert eyes I use whenever someone speaks to me. 

People don’t know that a genuine “are you okay?” would really mean a lot right now. 

Even though it’s visibly apparent what’s wrong, I think the issue is that what is wrong with me cannot be fixed with anything but time and even that is not certain. 

I’m in pain. Sometimes it’s a good day, sometimes it’s bad. I am starting to miss the days when all I did was bitch about work. I am tired of this and I don’t know if I will ever be the same again. It’s sad to think that.  

So if you’re wondering why I haven’t been posting as much it’s because I can’t remain in a good mood long enough to make little shady jokes for the masses. 

If you have anything in your arsenal that you think my humor would appreciate please drop the link in the comments. I need to smile. 

Words With Friends: The Return of Paper Brother 

It’s baaaaaaaccccckkkkkk…

In this fine edition of “Words With  Friends” we have to revisit a certain brother from a previous post.

Oh yes, it’s the return of your fave, “The Paper Brother.”

He been gone for a minute,  organizing sit-ins and peaceful protest and shit but he’s back! Back in the form of a simulated conversation between me and my good girlfriends.

Join us as we mock a real life Paper Brother explaining why he’s single.

This may be my favorite *lace sarcasm all up in here* type of man, knowing one in real life makes it all the funnier.

Get into it below…(follow the quotes)   Continue reading

You Don’t Know Nothing ‘Bout This Here: 4 Signs of Getting Old

What happens to your way of life when you start to get old?

I’m not talking about the brand new crop of health issues, or about  Medicare and social security. I am talking about how do you come to suddenly have those seemingly new old person mannerisms?

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Friday Fuckery: Shh…Just Watch TV

I cannot express how much reality television means to me. It gets me through the good and the bad, and I have been relying on it as much as I rely on eyeliner, because I look approximately 12 years old without it. Reality television is one of the worlds guiltiest pleasures (that’s right the world, everyone is going down with me); I particularly care for the trash type of reality television.

Any show that involves women arguing in every episode tickles my fancy.

This type of television is a solace to me for many reasons; one being that it makes me feel good about myself. Seeing women act a fool and to not be one of them makes me feel as good as Nene Leakes thinks she looks.

I also love reality television because it serves as a release from dealing with some seriously heavy shit.

There are heavy times right now and instead of going crazy from the mayhem that is the blatant racism going on in our own backyards; reality TV is keeping me sane. It’s nothing wrong with having a release as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Reality TV happens to be mine. In times like this especially, we all need a reason to laugh to keep from fucking shit up. If we are constantly focused on the bad we will be in despair causing tempers to flair and aiding in the destruction that we are all sick of. 

Sometimes we need mindless, sometimes we need stupidity, sometimes we need some emptiness just to remind us that while we laugh, it’s not all bad. 

Take this prescription for a Stevie J. nose pat and call me in the morning. nose pat