As I journey to be hot in these streets once again after a much needed hiatus, I wish to remind people (and myself) of the of the unfortunate events which occurred in datings past.
I faced the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with these types of men much earlier than I was probably ready to handle, which may have scarred me for life. Though some of these types are good men, to deal with one you need a certain level of maturity to adapt to their situation, which I do not posses.
The man I am referring to is….The Babyfather of the Year
As mentioned above there are good versions of this type of man, but because I’m so good at distinguishing fuckboys from the rest, I’m going to start with the terrible ones.
The terrible type of baby father (notice how I am not saying baby daddy out of respect) is the type of child having man I probably gained experience with first, which made the “no kids” criteria number one for me. This type of man will take you on a whole first, second, and third date and not mention a damn thing about their child until you peep the car seat in the back.
This man is soooo low. It makes me so upset that some seem to think that it’s okay that “I have a child,” is not a lead in a conversation on a date or at least during the initial phone call!
(Please note: the real life conversation I had to have.)
Me: *Looks at car seat* “What is that?”
Dumbass: “What’s what?”
Me: “The fucking car seat!”
Dumbass: “Oh, that’s my son’s.”
Me: “When…were you gonna tell me that?”
Anyway…these types of baby fathers have scarred me and if you run into this type, continue at your own risk. Most of the time the ones that act like their children are just a “side-effect” of fucking, (nothing permanent) most likely are not able to take relationships seriously as well. Beware.
Another type of baby father is one that only the strong can survive. God bless you my sistah. This type, though a good father in the fact that they actually let you know a child is in their lives (such low standards for fatherhood); they can sometimes jump the gun with them actually expecting you to interact with the child you barely know.
For a chick that’s into that step-momma role this is great, you can have all the benefits of having a child without your body being invaded. But if you are not into children, the first time a man puts his baby on the phone and makes you talk to them, this will fuck you up.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s very flattering that someone wants you to be a part of their child’s life, but if it is too early or isn’t the right time, it can be a little weird.
Both of these situations take a different type of female, and some might be able to adapt easier than others. My advice in all this is to know yourself. If you find yourself with the urge to parent RIGHT NOW, be my guest and date the Babyfather of the Year all you want. Still…please be careful, just because he’s responsible for another living person, that doesn’t make him a good guy.