You Don’t Know Nothing ‘Bout This Here: 4 Signs of Getting Old

What happens to your way of life when you start to get old?

I’m not talking about the brand new crop of health issues, or about  Medicare and social security. I am talking about how do you come to suddenly have those seemingly new old person mannerisms?

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So I Have To Be Pretty Forever? The Double Standard

Women are faced with the most ridiculous double standards. Some I can deal with, some I cannot.

Having sex with a plethora of people equals “Ho”….Acceptable for safety reasons

Frowned upon for abandoning your child…Acceptable because it’s harder to abandon a thing that lived inside of you. I guess.

But one double standard I cannot accept is that women have to look pretty for damn near forever, but have to be okay with their men being out of shape ug-mugs.

Women are always looked at with fault for letting themselves go when meanwhile fat husband and pretty wife (at least a high 6) is seen as the norm in most sitcoms and in general life.

I know that the woman is supposed to be the pretty one in the relationship, but do women really have to accept men looking like Carl Winslow while the men expect women to look like booty models?

photo credit:badtvblog.com

This is an unspoken rule, but it happens and I’m tired of it.

The first thing out of a man’s mouth when a woman does not get into shape quick enough after childbirth is that she let herself go. But when a man packs on numerous pounds for no reason at all or is even a little ugly in the face no one ever questions him. It is perfectly fine for him to be a butterball, no definition having slug of a man and expect you to be bad forever.

Why is nobody is ever disappointed in men for not looking like Tyson Beckford?

Men get yourself in shape for your women.

Go to the gym.

Go run outside.

Go ride a bike.

Do something to give you a place to criticize her if she’s not looking her best.

Don’t expect this:

Photo credit: lowbird.com

When you look like this:

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

You can’t be regular money Jay-Z and expect a Beyonce. Even rich Jay-Z shouldn’t expect Beyonce, he better count his blessings.

 

Friday Fuckery: A Quickie At Work

If you are at work I want you to slowly reach into your pocket. Take your time.

Slowly feel around in your pocket until you feel yourself in your hands. After you have found yourself slowly start to caress, but be inconspicuous, because remember you’re at work and god forbid you get caught.

When it feels right, take out your phone and… Continue reading

Why Everyone Should Work In Retail

Someone once said “never trust a person who has never worked in retail.” After 10 years of working in retail I now KNOW that this is true. In order to be a productive member of society everyone should have to work in retail at some point in their life. It should honestly be a right of passage, because you learn so much about the dealings of this fucked up world and it’s fucked up people. Continue reading

Hey Black Culture 

It seems as if no bit of black culture is ever recognized until it goes mainstream.

We use the term mainstream, but let’s call a spade a spade; mainstream is really a politically correct word for “white culture approved.” I personally have no problem with black culture becoming popular and being adopted by other races. I take great pride in my culture and when others embrace it I find it cute in a Paul Mooney sort of way.

My only issue with black culture becoming popular is when it becomes overused and corny due to it becoming mainstream.

Think of it this way:

It’s the same idea that once your parents know about the new hottest thing, and start to embrace it, it’s no longer cool. The same goes for black culture when it becomes mainstream

For example, remember the term “Bling Bling” popularized by B.G? Of course you don’t remember the origin of the term, but I bet you do remember getting sick of hearing it. 

This is what I fear will potentially happen for two people in specific that I have always loved:

Pharrell Williams and Taraji P. Henson

With mainstream pop culture finally “discovering” you guy’s talent (like y’all haven’t been hot since “Baby Boy” and the Neptunes), I am afraid that mainstream culture may see you guys as a novelty and use you up until you’re corny, like Bling Bling.

Taraji and Pharrell have been around and notarized by black culture for years but both have only started earning accolades in 2014. Though I am happy that they have been noticed for their talent, I still can admit that I am a bit selfish with my black culture and am mad that it took the attention of white culture for them to receive recognition.

On one hand Taraji and Pharrell deserve to be noticed by EVERYONE for their talents, but on the other hand I don’t want them to be a fad and something that will go out of style once white culture is not checking for “Empire” and they stop playing “Happy” in department stores.

Will black culture ever win by becoming mainstream, or does it just work for Beyoncé and Jay-Z?

Photo credit: Fox/Getty Images

Types of Male Friends All Women Should Have

robin-slaps-barney

I refuse to believe that males and females cannot be friends. I have said before that as long as you do not want to fuck your friend; a male-female platonic friendship is easily accomplished.

All females should have male friends and vice versa. Outside of your family, your friends are the only people of the opposite sex that will keep it real with you and not put on a front around you. Why? Because they do not want your Good n’ Plentys.

Besides you learning all types of shit by just watching, your friends of the opposite sex will show you characteristics to look for in a mate, and though you love your friends dearly, some will show you what characteristics to avoid.

I can only speak from a female perspective but believe all ladies should have at least these 3 types of male friends in their life…at some point. Continue reading

Things I Learned From Karrueche Tran’s Interview With Iyanla Vanzant That Didn’t Fix Anything 

Photo Credit: Own

Photo Credit: Own

Saturday I watched the much hyped about “Iyanla Exclusive: Karrueche” interview on OWN. The interview was much of what I expected;

  • Karrueche made excuses for her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown’s actions;
  • She made excuses for why she repeatedly took him back after being publicly disrespected;
  • She admitted that she still loves him

All were very expected based on her championship worthy history of ride-or-die chickdom, but the interview did expose some things that I didn’t know about Chris Brown and Karrueche’s relationship:

1. Chris Brown got one of his dancers to get Karrueche’s number when they first met and she was fine with this

All hail King Chris...

All hail King Chris…

This should’ve have been the first sign to Karrueche that Chris was not a normal man, but more of a schmuck. He saw her like all of the rest of his groupie conquest and didn’t have the graciousness to approach her himself.

Karrueche thought that if she acted “different” than the other girls and gave him the love that she thought he needed, he would treat her differently. That was her first instinct.

Okay…

If he wouldn’t even come up to you himself to get your number, YOU ARE LIKE THE REST. I can see that from the jump, and Chris Brown thought the same. Any man that feels like they are so high up that hey won’t even say “Hi,” clearly thinks their the shit and sees you as a conquest, not anything to be respected, but a pretty trinket to add to his collection.

2. Karrueche is more naive than I thought

Karrueche is so naive that I felt naive while watching this interview.

As stated above she saw herself as “different”  than the other girls Chris Brown had in his arsenal. She still thought Chris Brown would see her as this “different” chick, even though on their first date he had her out at 2:30am.

tumblr_meu4g7b4yT1rvp12n

Oh yeah girl you’re real different! He respects the hell out of your time and he definitely saw himself with you for the long-term.

Then Karrueche makes things even worse by repeating that she is human to excuse her naivety. Girl, I’m sure everybody watching this show is human, but only the stupid will not admit that they were ignoring straight facts.

When Karrueche admitted that she knew Chris Brown and Rihanna were seeing each other while they were together, this confused me. She sucked me into the naivety! I really believed that they had to be on a break or something for Chris Brown to blatantly disrespect her like that, but she knew! Oh wait no, she thought they were friends…

Barack Obama is even confused

Even Barack Obama is confused

3. Karrueche did not have a consistent father figure in her life

I don’t care. Let’s call a thing a thing (Hi, Iyanla) and just say that she was love sick and naive for this damn man.

4. Christina Milian is possibly the worst best-friend ever

And possibly just as clueless as Karrueche.

I really don’t understand how Christina Milian could’ve honestly got on television, all smiling and giggling, while fully admitting that she did not give her friend at least one “Come to Jesus” moment. Her excuse was that she did not know what was going on in Chris and Karrueche’s relationship and that Karreuche did not talk to her about it.
IMG_2337So how did everybody else know? You don’t have to wait for your friend to tell you what’s going because it is plastered all over social media!
And for Christina playing the role of minding her business; ALL girlfriends chime in at least once when their friend always seems to be going through something with their man. Once said girlfriend says her piece, they then proceed to mind their businesses when their friend keeps being dumb (girl code).

The final lesson and most important I learned during this interview was…

5. Karrueche has never cried on big bosoms

https://s.whipclip.com/p/2qycl

There lies the explanation for Karrueche’s behavior. Leave it all on them bosoms baby.

Photo credit: OWN/Evan Agostini

Why I Follow THOTS On Instagram 

In the early 2000’s it seemed like the era of “Watch-a-thot”  began.

As wrong as it may seem, thots or *hos have always made for great entertainment. From the time of Karrine Steffans, and the time of my favorite ho Kat Stacks, I have always been intrigued by them. I knew what they were doing was wrong (salute to my upbringing) but it still did not stop my or the whole worlds captivation.

“Watch-a-thot” gave new hope to your regular neighborhood ho that had been slutting around for years going unnoticed. These hos decided that they were being short changed and that they should get the same attention of these 15 minute fame whores. Sure, regular hos were exchanging their services for the luxury of being taken care of, but the hos wanted more.

more

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