Adventures In Dating: Babyfather of the Year

As I journey to be hot in these streets once again after a much needed hiatus, I wish to remind people (and myself) of the of the unfortunate events which occurred in datings past.

I faced the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with these types of men much earlier than I was probably ready to handle, which may have scarred me for life. Though some of these types are good men, to deal with one you need a certain level of maturity to adapt to their situation, which I do not posses.

The man I am referring to is…. Continue reading

Words With Friends: The Return of Paper Brother 

It’s baaaaaaaccccckkkkkk…

In this fine edition of “Words With  Friends” we have to revisit a certain brother from a previous post.

Oh yes, it’s the return of your fave, “The Paper Brother.”

He been gone for a minute,  organizing sit-ins and peaceful protest and shit but he’s back! Back in the form of a simulated conversation between me and my good girlfriends.

Join us as we mock a real life Paper Brother explaining why he’s single.

This may be my favorite *lace sarcasm all up in here* type of man, knowing one in real life makes it all the funnier.

Get into it below…(follow the quotes)   Continue reading

So I Have To Be Pretty Forever? The Double Standard

Women are faced with the most ridiculous double standards. Some I can deal with, some I cannot.

Having sex with a plethora of people equals “Ho”….Acceptable for safety reasons

Frowned upon for abandoning your child…Acceptable because it’s harder to abandon a thing that lived inside of you. I guess.

But one double standard I cannot accept is that women have to look pretty for damn near forever, but have to be okay with their men being out of shape ug-mugs.

Women are always looked at with fault for letting themselves go when meanwhile fat husband and pretty wife (at least a high 6) is seen as the norm in most sitcoms and in general life.

I know that the woman is supposed to be the pretty one in the relationship, but do women really have to accept men looking like Carl Winslow while the men expect women to look like booty models?

photo credit:badtvblog.com

This is an unspoken rule, but it happens and I’m tired of it.

The first thing out of a man’s mouth when a woman does not get into shape quick enough after childbirth is that she let herself go. But when a man packs on numerous pounds for no reason at all or is even a little ugly in the face no one ever questions him. It is perfectly fine for him to be a butterball, no definition having slug of a man and expect you to be bad forever.

Why is nobody is ever disappointed in men for not looking like Tyson Beckford?

Men get yourself in shape for your women.

Go to the gym.

Go run outside.

Go ride a bike.

Do something to give you a place to criticize her if she’s not looking her best.

Don’t expect this:

Photo credit: lowbird.com

When you look like this:

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

Photo credit: Jay-zjournal.com

You can’t be regular money Jay-Z and expect a Beyonce. Even rich Jay-Z shouldn’t expect Beyonce, he better count his blessings.

 

Brotherf*cker

i-love-my-best-friend_designLets address something. I’ve been hearing many people throw around the terms sister, brother, and twin, as greetings for a while now and I am down right perplexed. I am confused because when I hear these terms used I am always expecting to see a relative pop up from out of the shadows or someone who at least looks similar, but I am wrong EVERY TIME. Nowadays is seems that when people actually use these words they are referring to some  random ass “friend”, who is not related to them.

I am so confused. Continue reading

Types of Male Friends All Women Should Have

robin-slaps-barney

I refuse to believe that males and females cannot be friends. I have said before that as long as you do not want to fuck your friend; a male-female platonic friendship is easily accomplished.

All females should have male friends and vice versa. Outside of your family, your friends are the only people of the opposite sex that will keep it real with you and not put on a front around you. Why? Because they do not want your Good n’ Plentys.

Besides you learning all types of shit by just watching, your friends of the opposite sex will show you characteristics to look for in a mate, and though you love your friends dearly, some will show you what characteristics to avoid.

I can only speak from a female perspective but believe all ladies should have at least these 3 types of male friends in their life…at some point. Continue reading

Adventures In Dating: “The Who Told You…?” Type

I’m now realizing that this series can go on forever and I have no problem with that…

In this next edition of “Adventures in Dating” I want to go over the type of man who lives in their own world. This man has a sense of false confidence that you cannot understand nor take away from him. A reality check from someone is so necessary for this man, but once again he is in his own little world so it probably wouldn’t do him any good. Continue reading

Things I Learned From Karrueche Tran’s Interview With Iyanla Vanzant That Didn’t Fix Anything 

Photo Credit: Own

Photo Credit: Own

Saturday I watched the much hyped about “Iyanla Exclusive: Karrueche” interview on OWN. The interview was much of what I expected;

  • Karrueche made excuses for her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown’s actions;
  • She made excuses for why she repeatedly took him back after being publicly disrespected;
  • She admitted that she still loves him

All were very expected based on her championship worthy history of ride-or-die chickdom, but the interview did expose some things that I didn’t know about Chris Brown and Karrueche’s relationship:

1. Chris Brown got one of his dancers to get Karrueche’s number when they first met and she was fine with this

All hail King Chris...

All hail King Chris…

This should’ve have been the first sign to Karrueche that Chris was not a normal man, but more of a schmuck. He saw her like all of the rest of his groupie conquest and didn’t have the graciousness to approach her himself.

Karrueche thought that if she acted “different” than the other girls and gave him the love that she thought he needed, he would treat her differently. That was her first instinct.

Okay…

If he wouldn’t even come up to you himself to get your number, YOU ARE LIKE THE REST. I can see that from the jump, and Chris Brown thought the same. Any man that feels like they are so high up that hey won’t even say “Hi,” clearly thinks their the shit and sees you as a conquest, not anything to be respected, but a pretty trinket to add to his collection.

2. Karrueche is more naive than I thought

Karrueche is so naive that I felt naive while watching this interview.

As stated above she saw herself as “different”  than the other girls Chris Brown had in his arsenal. She still thought Chris Brown would see her as this “different” chick, even though on their first date he had her out at 2:30am.

tumblr_meu4g7b4yT1rvp12n

Oh yeah girl you’re real different! He respects the hell out of your time and he definitely saw himself with you for the long-term.

Then Karrueche makes things even worse by repeating that she is human to excuse her naivety. Girl, I’m sure everybody watching this show is human, but only the stupid will not admit that they were ignoring straight facts.

When Karrueche admitted that she knew Chris Brown and Rihanna were seeing each other while they were together, this confused me. She sucked me into the naivety! I really believed that they had to be on a break or something for Chris Brown to blatantly disrespect her like that, but she knew! Oh wait no, she thought they were friends…

Barack Obama is even confused

Even Barack Obama is confused

3. Karrueche did not have a consistent father figure in her life

I don’t care. Let’s call a thing a thing (Hi, Iyanla) and just say that she was love sick and naive for this damn man.

4. Christina Milian is possibly the worst best-friend ever

And possibly just as clueless as Karrueche.

I really don’t understand how Christina Milian could’ve honestly got on television, all smiling and giggling, while fully admitting that she did not give her friend at least one “Come to Jesus” moment. Her excuse was that she did not know what was going on in Chris and Karrueche’s relationship and that Karreuche did not talk to her about it.
IMG_2337So how did everybody else know? You don’t have to wait for your friend to tell you what’s going because it is plastered all over social media!
And for Christina playing the role of minding her business; ALL girlfriends chime in at least once when their friend always seems to be going through something with their man. Once said girlfriend says her piece, they then proceed to mind their businesses when their friend keeps being dumb (girl code).

The final lesson and most important I learned during this interview was…

5. Karrueche has never cried on big bosoms

https://s.whipclip.com/p/2qycl

There lies the explanation for Karrueche’s behavior. Leave it all on them bosoms baby.

Photo credit: OWN/Evan Agostini

Adventures In Dating: The Fuckboy

In this installment of Adventures in Dating I want to cover (through pictures) the type of man that always has women and you never understand why.

Most of the time the women are attractive and have a good head on their shoulders as well, but they are tricked by this mans charm. These men are charismatic, outgoing, funny and reel you in with these initial personality traits. Soon enough you will be introduced to their other side… Continue reading

Adventures In Dating: The Sensitive Brother

In this installment of  “Adventures In Dating” I want to cover the type of man that all women think that they want, but when they get them, want to strangle them.

I can say from experience that these types of brothers gravitate toward me and many display emotion; which is good because there is no guess work with how they feel, but sometimes they can get very dramatic.

The type of man I am talking about is the Sensitive Brother.

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Almost ALL of the men I’ve been involved with have exhibited this hyper emotional trait. They are very in touch with their feelings and feel the need to share every experience that ever hurt them. Though not bad all of the time, it is a trigger to a person that is inherently a fixer…like myself.

(If you are the type of person who finds yourself always wanting to make everything all better, then you are a fixer.)

In a relationship with a Sensitive Brother you find yourself uttering the words, “What’s wrong?” more often than not, or yelling, “Calm down!” more often than you ever should have to at another adult.

The Sensitive Brother displays his sensitivity in more than the stereotypical Drake-type of emotions.

Some are able to express their feelings in a great way, and I adore it because they hold nothing in;

But…

Ponies and marshmallows can get old. Hearing about every feeling can get draining. Everyone cannot be sad with you. Everyone can’t feel what you feel.

drake-feeling-unrelateble

Keep that shit to yourself sometimes….Killin my muthafuckin vibe (in my Kendrick Lamar’s Daddy voice).

Then there’s the other side–

The Sensitive Brothers sometimes have the biggest tempers. Their emotions are fucking out of control!

There is no medium between them saying, “That hurt my feelings, ” and then them punching a hole in a wall. Also, their sad attempt at holding back feelings is sometimes comical because it can yield real tears.

I had a crier before and that shit is scary. The more I write this, the more I think he was bipolar.

andre

My takeaway from this, is that the Sensitive Brother has been the most tolerable guy in my dating experience. But I am a magnet to that type. I fix shit that’s broken. They can smell a fixer. I can smell insecurity.

As long as you don’t allow that whole transfer of emotions bullshit to occur, you’ll be fine.

As soon as they start bitching just do this in your head.

headphon

Realize that you can’t fix this man. He probably has daddy issues or something…

 

 Photo Credit: Getty Images