Friday Fuckery: A Quickie At Work

If you are at work I want you to slowly reach into your pocket. Take your time.

Slowly feel around in your pocket until you feel yourself in your hands. After you have found yourself slowly start to caress, but be inconspicuous, because remember you’re at work and god forbid you get caught.

When it feels right, take out your phone and… Continue reading

Throwback Thursday: In College I Enjoyed Nasty Songs

There should be no surprise that my semi ratchet ass cannot get enough of raunchy misogynistic music.

 I never missed an opportunity to dance in a basement and hear underrated classics like Lil’ Ru’s raunchy and appropriately titled, “Nasty Song.” Now that is clever naming!

Get into this video and I dare you not to be inspired to “put your pussy” on someone, or give/receive a wallie.

Continue reading

Why Your Auntie Is So Pissed

What is it that happens with women when they hit a certain age that immediately makes them dislike younger women?

I recall on one of my terrible ass retail jobs always having a token woman who couldn’t stand me. It always was an older woman who felt like it was her place to make an example out of me for breathing or whatever she was mad at me for.

This display of pure disdain from older women did not stop at jobs, it carried over into day to day life as well. I still get looks of disgust from older women and I’m not even a spring chicken anymore. I walk down the street and still get looked up and down with this perturbed face from Auntie or even get the little nice-nasty shade of some old biddy calling me  sweety and hun’, but in that weird tone where its not affectionate at all. Bitch, I can hear the hate in your voice.displeased-bailey

My question is why are Aunties, as I affectionately call them, so mad? Continue reading

Why Everyone Should Work In Retail

Someone once said “never trust a person who has never worked in retail.” After 10 years of working in retail I now KNOW that this is true. In order to be a productive member of society everyone should have to work in retail at some point in their life. It should honestly be a right of passage, because you learn so much about the dealings of this fucked up world and it’s fucked up people. Continue reading

Brotherf*cker

i-love-my-best-friend_designLets address something. I’ve been hearing many people throw around the terms sister, brother, and twin, as greetings for a while now and I am down right perplexed. I am confused because when I hear these terms used I am always expecting to see a relative pop up from out of the shadows or someone who at least looks similar, but I am wrong EVERY TIME. Nowadays is seems that when people actually use these words they are referring to some  random ass “friend”, who is not related to them.

I am so confused. Continue reading

Quickie: “Game of Thrones”+ Broken Bones

I broke my big toe and this shit is the second most terrible physical pain I have ever experienced in life (cramps will always win until childbirth). For the last week I have barely been able to think straight, and when I do think, I only think bitchy thoughts such as:

“I wish you would shut the fuck up”

or

“What the fuck are you smiling for?”

Continue reading

Hey Black Culture 

It seems as if no bit of black culture is ever recognized until it goes mainstream.

We use the term mainstream, but let’s call a spade a spade; mainstream is really a politically correct word for “white culture approved.” I personally have no problem with black culture becoming popular and being adopted by other races. I take great pride in my culture and when others embrace it I find it cute in a Paul Mooney sort of way.

My only issue with black culture becoming popular is when it becomes overused and corny due to it becoming mainstream.

Think of it this way:

It’s the same idea that once your parents know about the new hottest thing, and start to embrace it, it’s no longer cool. The same goes for black culture when it becomes mainstream

For example, remember the term “Bling Bling” popularized by B.G? Of course you don’t remember the origin of the term, but I bet you do remember getting sick of hearing it. 

This is what I fear will potentially happen for two people in specific that I have always loved:

Pharrell Williams and Taraji P. Henson

With mainstream pop culture finally “discovering” you guy’s talent (like y’all haven’t been hot since “Baby Boy” and the Neptunes), I am afraid that mainstream culture may see you guys as a novelty and use you up until you’re corny, like Bling Bling.

Taraji and Pharrell have been around and notarized by black culture for years but both have only started earning accolades in 2014. Though I am happy that they have been noticed for their talent, I still can admit that I am a bit selfish with my black culture and am mad that it took the attention of white culture for them to receive recognition.

On one hand Taraji and Pharrell deserve to be noticed by EVERYONE for their talents, but on the other hand I don’t want them to be a fad and something that will go out of style once white culture is not checking for “Empire” and they stop playing “Happy” in department stores.

Will black culture ever win by becoming mainstream, or does it just work for Beyoncé and Jay-Z?

Photo credit: Fox/Getty Images

MY First Award Nomination: The Liebster Award!!!

liebster-award-logo

Well look at that, look at that…Thank you Miss Jenny M ! (If you like reading about actual normal shit and feel like you need someone relatable on your Blogroll—check her out and thank me later)

This my first nomination for any blogger award and I didn’t know that people actually like to read my non-fact based bullshit I spew on the regular.

This award is meant for obscure blogs, the little people, the little old ant who thinks they can move that rubber tree plant.

One of the rules is to nominate 11 more new and obscure blogs and use the logo above while completing all the task below.

Complete rules are as follows:

  • Link back to the person who nominated you.
  • Give 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Answer 11 questions from your nominator.
  • Nominate 11 new and obscure bloggers.
  • Come up with 11 questions for them to answer.
  • Inform your nominees.

So here it goes…

inthat order Continue reading