That Moment When You Can’t Fake The Funk

I have been laying in bed for three days straight. I work from home a lot but when I go into the office I sit in my little cubicle fighting back tears. 

I am a self admitted control freak and when I feel like I am losing control this is what happens.

The depressed mood, the withdrawl, and the random thoughts of what if? This is me out of control. 

I understand that things are not meant to be controlled all of the time, and I am familiar with the whole “shit happens” mantra that people love to throw at you when things go wrong (which I’m extremely tired of hearing), but when I cannot control my own body or finances, I am finding this to be a trigger that makes me irrational. 

People treat me like I’m not allowed to feel. I’m sad and it just is. 

I literally cannot move. I can’t get up and go anywhere without feeling embarrassed that people are staring at me and on top of that I am about to lose an insane amount of money. 

I am drained. 

I want to cry but I have no one to cry to. 

I am alone. 

I realize that no one knows me very well and to care how I’m feeling because of the temporary tattoo of a smile and alert eyes I use whenever someone speaks to me. 

People don’t know that a genuine “are you okay?” would really mean a lot right now. 

Even though it’s visibly apparent what’s wrong, I think the issue is that what is wrong with me cannot be fixed with anything but time and even that is not certain. 

I’m in pain. Sometimes it’s a good day, sometimes it’s bad. I am starting to miss the days when all I did was bitch about work. I am tired of this and I don’t know if I will ever be the same again. It’s sad to think that.  

So if you’re wondering why I haven’t been posting as much it’s because I can’t remain in a good mood long enough to make little shady jokes for the masses. 

If you have anything in your arsenal that you think my humor would appreciate please drop the link in the comments. I need to smile. 

Words With Friends: The Return of Paper Brother 

It’s baaaaaaaccccckkkkkk…

In this fine edition of “Words With  Friends” we have to revisit a certain brother from a previous post.

Oh yes, it’s the return of your fave, “The Paper Brother.”

He been gone for a minute,  organizing sit-ins and peaceful protest and shit but he’s back! Back in the form of a simulated conversation between me and my good girlfriends.

Join us as we mock a real life Paper Brother explaining why he’s single.

This may be my favorite *lace sarcasm all up in here* type of man, knowing one in real life makes it all the funnier.

Get into it below…(follow the quotes)   Continue reading

Throwback Thursday: In College I Enjoyed Nasty Songs

There should be no surprise that my semi ratchet ass cannot get enough of raunchy misogynistic music.

 I never missed an opportunity to dance in a basement and hear underrated classics like Lil’ Ru’s raunchy and appropriately titled, “Nasty Song.” Now that is clever naming!

Get into this video and I dare you not to be inspired to “put your pussy” on someone, or give/receive a wallie.

Continue reading

Why Your Auntie Is So Pissed

What is it that happens with women when they hit a certain age that immediately makes them dislike younger women?

I recall on one of my terrible ass retail jobs always having a token woman who couldn’t stand me. It always was an older woman who felt like it was her place to make an example out of me for breathing or whatever she was mad at me for.

This display of pure disdain from older women did not stop at jobs, it carried over into day to day life as well. I still get looks of disgust from older women and I’m not even a spring chicken anymore. I walk down the street and still get looked up and down with this perturbed face from Auntie or even get the little nice-nasty shade of some old biddy calling me  sweety and hun’, but in that weird tone where its not affectionate at all. Bitch, I can hear the hate in your voice.displeased-bailey

My question is why are Aunties, as I affectionately call them, so mad? Continue reading

MY First Award Nomination: The Liebster Award!!!

liebster-award-logo

Well look at that, look at that…Thank you Miss Jenny M ! (If you like reading about actual normal shit and feel like you need someone relatable on your Blogroll—check her out and thank me later)

This my first nomination for any blogger award and I didn’t know that people actually like to read my non-fact based bullshit I spew on the regular.

This award is meant for obscure blogs, the little people, the little old ant who thinks they can move that rubber tree plant.

One of the rules is to nominate 11 more new and obscure blogs and use the logo above while completing all the task below.

Complete rules are as follows:

  • Link back to the person who nominated you.
  • Give 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Answer 11 questions from your nominator.
  • Nominate 11 new and obscure bloggers.
  • Come up with 11 questions for them to answer.
  • Inform your nominees.

So here it goes…

inthat order Continue reading