Pop culture has ruined me and I will never be the same. With my ruin, I am only able to relate to other pop culture junkies who only speak in Internet, television, and music references (it really is a different language).
Being a pop culture junkie really effects everyday life so much that I feel the daily struggle is worth illustrating.
Below I will point out my most used pop culture references in question and answer format.
The replies listed are the everyday responses (that I only say in my head) to daily scenarios. I try daily not to say these aloud…but it’s so hard, so hard.
1. Whenever anyone asks if my hair is relaxed.
My reply: “No, just juices and berries”–Prince Akeem, Coming to America
2. Whenever I meet someone who is way too happy for my current mood
My reply: “Makeup and stickers and ponies and myspace.com.”–Family Guy, S.5.ep8
photo credit: fanpop.com
3. I get asked a stupid question
My reply: “You are so dumb.”–Antoine Dodson
4. If you ask me if I am going to an event planned.
My reply: “Bitch I Might Be”–Gucci Mane feat. Shawnna, I Might Be
5. When asked about any deadline at work.
My reply: “About a week agoooo.”–Bobby Schmurda, Hot Nigga
6. When not interested in a conversation.
My reply: “What? She told you to put it in the fax machine? Nuh uh…”–Kevin Hart, Seriously Funny
7. When asking for more of a topping on my salad and I’m feeling sassy
My reply: “Put some more mozzarella on that motherfucking shit.” –Radio Raheem (Sal’s Pizza scene), Do the Right Thing
photo credit: washingtoncitypaper.com
8. When agreeing with anything.
My reply: “Chuuuuuch”–Diamond Eye (look him up)
9. When someone calls themselves talking to me crazy.
My reply: “I got an indoor pool and an outdoor pool”–Ray J, Power 105.1 interview
10. Whenever I get a compliment on an outfit.
My reply: “You see the outfit bitch, I’m killing you ho’s”–Trina, Killing You Hoes